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Gordon
20-09-2002, 19:47
Here's something new. Lets write a story and at the end of the month, I will publish the lot on the site.

The Rules. I will start with the first ten words, someone comes on and adds another ten words and so on. Keep it to ten words only and then leave the rest to the next poster.

I'll start the game off with

"It was a warm summers evening on the Island of"

over to you
Woody1
20-09-2002, 20:15
...C'Preece. Within the forrest could be heard the roar of...

[ 20 September 2002, 19:17: Message edited by: Woody ]
Gordon
20-09-2002, 21:40
the wind in the empty beer barrells scattered around the
giggabyte
21-09-2002, 01:26
Abbott as he lay on the ground writhing after he..
phil b
21-09-2002, 20:50
felt the full impact of the Unsworth challenge ..

[ 21 September 2002, 19:52: Message edited by: phil b ]
Gordon
21-09-2002, 21:25
as he dropped all his green tiddlywinks into the large
phil b
21-09-2002, 21:33
plastic tub which also contained his entire collection of...

[ 21 September 2002, 20:36: Message edited by: phil b ]
Gordon
21-09-2002, 22:38
plastic pigs ears he had bought from the one legged
giggabyte
22-09-2002, 01:46
Goalie who stood between the pegs awaiting the next speedy..
phil b
22-09-2002, 10:22
herd of wildebeest to gallop across the sunlit African plain.
Gordon
22-09-2002, 10:42
But suddenly, from above, their came a large black shadow
phil b
22-09-2002, 11:00
"Who dares intrude into my private domain?" It was Gordon!
Woody1
22-09-2002, 15:20
...the Gopher, with Philip Schofield hot in pursuit. "Where is...
phil b
22-09-2002, 15:45
the lobster thermidor I requested for my dressing room?"
giggabyte
22-09-2002, 16:02
"Still swimming in the tank awaiting his Lordship to give..
phil b
22-09-2002, 19:53
the BBC commissionaire a final decision over any other requirements."
giggabyte
23-09-2002, 20:10
They acceptable to wear in Monte Carlo at such a..
Waldo
23-09-2002, 22:37
formidable building site sat right next to the racing track
phil b
23-09-2002, 23:32
"Of course sir, but don't forget your hard hat."
giggabyte
23-09-2002, 23:56
As you are seated in the pits with the most..
Waldo
24-09-2002, 00:08
Luscious blonde by your side playing around with the automatic...
Gordon
24-09-2002, 01:01
But what about my purple & pink flip flops, are
Woody1
24-09-2002, 01:18
gear change. "And here comes Michael Schumacher for his second
Gordon
24-09-2002, 22:26
Pint of Jack Daniels and Tizer in as many minutes.
phil b
24-09-2002, 22:37
"There must be some way out of here," said the
simple_simon
25-09-2002, 17:52
frog that had got stuck in his helmet during the
phil b
25-09-2002, 23:16
eight furlong selling plate for two year old fillies.
Woody1
27-09-2002, 20:13
"Better hop it" thought the frog and got back to
giggabyte
28-09-2002, 01:30
the job of creating tadpoles for next year's very special..
phil b
28-09-2002, 14:03
and very secret mission about which even I knew little.
Woody1
29-09-2002, 19:13
Meanwhile, back at the Monte Carlo hotel's swimming pool
phil b
29-09-2002, 20:58
where I married Isis on the fifth day of May
phil b
08-10-2002, 20:40
Seeing as Gordon has neither closed this topic nor printed it in full as he originally stated, I propose that we recommence from this point on.

Billy sniffed carefully. A faint smell lingered in the air.
giggabyte
10-10-2002, 21:12
She stood next to him with a faint smile on..
phil b
10-10-2002, 23:06
her lips, but nothing else at all. She smiled sweetly....
giggabyte
10-10-2002, 23:24
Her lips were moist as she stepped forward and took..
phil b
10-10-2002, 23:31
out her false teeth, glass eye and removed her wig.
giggabyte
10-10-2002, 23:35
She swiftly changed her religious outlook by adding a turbin..
phil b
10-10-2002, 23:38
two rolls of wallpaper and a pint of cooking oil.
giggabyte
10-10-2002, 23:39
And a wok as she waddled towards the far side..
phil b
10-10-2002, 23:59
of the room where she began to strip all of
giggabyte
11-10-2002, 21:13
The paper from the landing walls with an unusually shaped..
phil b
11-10-2002, 21:15
polystyrene wallpaper stripper that she had bought from the Kwik-E-Mart.
giggabyte
11-10-2002, 21:19
It splintered as she stripped a shard hit her eye...
phil b
11-10-2002, 21:57
but being polystyrene it did no harm at all. However,
giggabyte
11-10-2002, 22:00
As she dashed down the stairs in her concern she ...
phil b
11-10-2002, 22:10
tripped and fell headlong down the stairs and broke her.....
V Shaped Badge
12-10-2002, 00:17
nose and had to be immediately taken off to the
Woody1
12-10-2002, 02:03
Michael Jackson clinic for plastic surgery. "I want one of
wotan
12-10-2002, 02:44
your sexiest interns to
phil b
12-10-2002, 17:20
enable me to pick my nose more safely than this.
phil b
25-10-2002, 22:24
By poular demand (well I demand it and I am popular in my house - you should hear them all calling for me almost every day).

Meanwhile, back at the hotel, the receptionist was struggling with...
giggabyte
25-10-2002, 23:10
The joint she had dropped on the floor just as..

[ 25. October 2002, 22:12: Message edited by: giggabyte ]
Waldo
25-10-2002, 23:59
The door bell rang and there he was waiting.....
blackpudding
26-10-2002, 00:12
It was Craig Brown demanding the return of his favourite
phil b
26-10-2002, 11:27
striker. "You've shafted us you great Scottish poltroon!" cried the....

Isn't poltroon a really lovely word?
Woody1
30-10-2002, 20:02
one Bury fan. The others looked on in disbelief as...
phil b
30-10-2002, 21:44
the angry fan berated Mr Brown with an undreamt of ferocity.
giggabyte
31-10-2002, 23:44
Ach awa back tae pressed on an tack him asweel!!
phil b
01-11-2002, 21:44
"You wouldn't have a spare defender and goalie would you?"

[ 02. November 2002, 18:50: Message edited by: phil b ]
Woody1
02-11-2002, 23:36
"No - thought not". The receptionist picked up the joint and
phil b
03-11-2002, 10:41
took it to the kitchen. "Bugger the chef being sick," she thought.

[ 03. November 2002, 09:42: Message edited by: phil b ]
giggabyte
03-11-2002, 21:09
I'll prepare it myself,stuffed the joint with a joint...
Barmcake
03-11-2002, 21:18
And put it in the oven. Just then she heard a noise and was amazed to see that that Scottish blackguard Brown hadn't gone at all but was pressing his bare arse against the porch window....

[ 03. November 2002, 20:25: Message edited by: Barmcake ]
phil b
03-11-2002, 22:10
"That's funny," she thought. "We've a ferrari not a porch." (She's blonde y'see.)

Flippin' heck Barmcake. There's meant to be a ten word limit on this. Are you making up for lost time?
Barmcake
04-11-2002, 17:38
Sorry about the extended lines above phil... got carried away thinking about Mr Brown's btm.

"Put yer bum away CB," she cried and Brown fled...
phil b
04-11-2002, 22:36
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the receptionist, she had not lit the gas properly
Woody1
05-11-2002, 01:00
Wooosh! The whole place went up like the proverbial bonfire
Barmcake
05-11-2002, 16:37
When the flames subsided, all they found in the ash...
Woody1
05-11-2002, 21:58
were a glass eye, a pair of false teeth and a lottery ticket.
phil b
05-11-2002, 22:57
This was clearly a case for a fictional detective.
paula_m
07-11-2002, 15:20
This could well be the winning ticket from last week
Woody1
07-11-2002, 20:50
said Holmes. "I'll bet that Richard Hillman has got
phil b
07-11-2002, 21:20
a meeting with his bank manager even as I am....
Waldo
10-11-2002, 23:31
looking for another job in the accounts department...

(Hope you like that one Paula?)
phil b
10-11-2002, 23:35
Funny though; somehow this just doesn't add up thought the detective..
Waldo
10-11-2002, 23:37
Lost count how many wives are buried by me
paula_m
10-11-2002, 23:45
thought it was an accounts job not at the undertakers ?
(you too Steve) :D

[ 10. November 2002, 22:46: Message edited by: paula-m ]
Waldo
10-11-2002, 23:47
but then woke up it was all a nightmare...
mick
11-11-2002, 17:46
to his suprise he found himself lying on a bed of nails
phil b
11-11-2002, 20:34
"I really must stop biting my nails," thought our hero.
Waldo
13-11-2002, 00:11
"Then again it is much better than pulling my......out" (hair)
mick
13-11-2002, 16:06
With a hanfull of hair he gingerly arose singing..
Woody1
13-11-2002, 20:03
"I've gotta get that man right out of my hair"
phil b
13-11-2002, 21:52
Meanwhile, back at the Ponderosa, Little Joe Cartwright was just ...
Woody1
15-11-2002, 21:23
about to eat his grilled steak and all-you-can-eat buffet

(the Ponderosa is a chain of restaurants in the USA) smile.gif
phil b
15-11-2002, 23:05
when he got a call on his mobile phone

We knew that all along Woody :cool:
Woody1
19-11-2002, 20:12
It was that Richard Hillman wanting to know the whereabouts of
phil b
20-11-2002, 00:22
that little yellow idol on the road to Katmandu.

Gets about a bit doesn't it? :D :eek:

[ 19. November 2002, 23:47: Message edited by: phil b ]
V Shaped Badge
24-11-2002, 12:40
Nasty Nigel checked with the contestants on Yellow Idol, who stammered
mick
25-11-2002, 12:38
Kat Kat Kat Kat Kat Kat Kat Kat Katmandu!
phil b
25-11-2002, 23:45
"Sadly no," came the reply."It's on the road not Katmand u itself."
phil b
05-12-2002, 21:32
.
phil b
05-12-2002, 21:33
"Is there anybody out there?" he cried into the emptiness.
Waldo
05-12-2002, 23:10
YEEEEEEeeeeeeees cried a girl stuck in a distant pothole
phil b
06-12-2002, 00:16
before she tumbled helplessly into a strange subterranean world.
V Shaped Badge
07-12-2002, 20:54
Emerging back into the light, after her London Underground trip
phil b
07-12-2002, 21:32
she crossed the road and went into Burger King
V Shaped Badge
07-12-2002, 21:36
went to the toilet and left like everyone else does, then
phil b
07-12-2002, 22:16
was run over by a bus. She died in hospital. :cry:
Woody1
08-12-2002, 11:29
But it was only a dream and she emerged from the shower
phil b
08-12-2002, 15:46
to find Secret Agent 007 (James Bond) smiling appreciatively.
mick
09-12-2002, 13:27
Do you prefer blonds or redheads said the girl
paula_m
09-12-2002, 16:11
What's wrong with brunettes said James Bond (secret agent 007)?
V Shaped Badge
09-12-2002, 22:51
I lost my dark wig at a Cher convention, she
mick
10-12-2002, 13:49
turned quickly to answer a knock at the door
phil b
10-12-2002, 21:38
It was the postman. Yes they were playing Postman's Knock!
paula_m
11-12-2002, 01:28
"that's strange" she said "I thought you always rang twice"
V Shaped Badge
11-12-2002, 01:38
No, he replied, I knock 3 times on the ceiling
Woody1
11-12-2002, 01:48
if you want me, twice on the pipe if the
phil b
12-12-2002, 00:37
answer is no. That Tony Orlando could never resist that one.
Woody1
12-12-2002, 20:44
And so it was Dawn, and as she arose from
phil b
12-12-2002, 22:35
the throes of a deep and peaceful sleep, something happened....
paula_m
14-12-2002, 12:44
that changed her busy but bored life for ever, she...
phil b
14-12-2002, 18:16
found herself being lifted off the floor by an unseen force
Woody1
17-12-2002, 20:54
Was it Uri Gellar, David Copperfield, Paul McKenna, or
phil b
17-12-2002, 21:53
just the wire harness she wore to play Peter Pan?
phil b
20-12-2002, 00:07
Nobody seemed to know because the silence was deafening.
phil b
22-12-2002, 18:38
It seemed the world had ended but nobody knew it.
paula_m
01-01-2003, 23:47
The week interlude had ended, and the next night as ...
phil b
03-01-2003, 22:51
Paula must still have been hungover when she typed the previous entry. It SHOULD have been ..... The leak in the loo had mended and the necktie was.... so my line reads as follows...

.... beyond saving. That someone had used it for that purpose.....
paula_m
10-01-2003, 11:47
but with the situation she had found herself in...
phil b
10-01-2003, 23:06
.. she realised there was only one option. Suicide is painless.
paula_m
12-01-2003, 00:31
No it's not. It hurts a lot of other people, so that thought went straight out of the window


(not that you'd know but my best/oldest friend's son killed himself)
phil b
12-01-2003, 16:11
:oops: sorry
phil b
12-01-2003, 16:15
Buoyed by her new found enthusiasm, she decided to...
paula_m
12-01-2003, 22:02
pick herself up, dust herself down and start all over again ......
phil b
15-01-2003, 22:26
And so she packed all her troubles in her old kitbag
paula_m
17-01-2003, 00:31
and headed off for a holiday in the sun
phil b
17-01-2003, 23:03
But being short of money she could only afford a......
phil b
22-01-2003, 22:47
caravan in Bridlington for the last weekend in October.
paula_m
27-01-2003, 23:50
bugger that she thought, I'd rather have the nursing home
phil b
28-01-2003, 23:29
And so she settled for another long term stay at.....
Woody1
29-01-2003, 21:03
Clacton-on-Sea's Twilight Home for the beffudled and bewildered.
phil b
29-01-2003, 21:17
Where she had the most nerve-wracking moment of her life.
paula_m
01-02-2003, 10:05
she found that the villa had been transformed into a refuge for
phil b
01-02-2003, 21:21
Elderly female table dancers with a penchant for website games.
phil b
01-02-2003, 21:23
:x
paula_m
03-02-2003, 23:38
:shock:

nite nite see ya tomorrow x :roll:
phil b
04-02-2003, 22:37
:?:

Is that part of the novel? You can have 10 words you know.

Anyway...

Her penchant for games was to prove her undoing however....
paula_m
08-02-2003, 00:28
when suddenly out of the blue, a knock on the
Anders - DanishShakers
08-02-2003, 00:37
door. Mr. w**nock seemed to have lost his mind at


(sorry, but every good story needs a bad guy)
phil b
08-02-2003, 09:21
that precise moment. Lurching into the room he grabbed at......
Woody1
10-02-2003, 20:50
straws. "Did you see that? He just spit right at
Waldo
10-02-2003, 22:51
the mirror looking at himself in disgust when...
Anders - DanishShakers
11-02-2003, 06:15
it became obvious to him, that the blades tie he...
phil b
11-02-2003, 23:13
was wearing now had an extra line of indistinct colour.
Woody1
15-02-2003, 21:15
Was it the yellow of spilt custard, cowardice or just
phil b
15-02-2003, 21:59
an altogether different finnish that was marking his tie?
Paul Kennedy
23-02-2003, 23:37
while pondering his dilema the mirror suddenly spoke to him

well it is a fairy tale
Waldo
24-02-2003, 18:12
The mirror told him that he was the worst......
phil b
24-02-2003, 22:27
candidate and no-one could understand why he'd got the job
paula_m
25-02-2003, 17:26
if they only knew he'd been sleeping with the ...
phil b
25-02-2003, 19:46
enemy they would never have even interviewed him
Waldo
26-02-2003, 23:27
It was the tie that gave him away, so he........
phil b
27-02-2003, 20:24
came clean and admitted everything including all his parking tickets.
Paul Kennedy
28-02-2003, 17:19
That he had incurred whilst driving his Merc around Bury
phil b
28-02-2003, 22:11
Meanwhile, at a lonely motorway service station on the M62...
Paul Kennedy
01-03-2003, 12:49
His pocket stuffed full of plain brown envelopes
phil b
01-03-2003, 22:34
the Norwegian agent was waiting to meet his newest client.
Paul Kennedy
02-03-2003, 21:47
Client, an impressionable young goalkeeper.....
phil b
02-03-2003, 21:48
who harboured long term ambitions to represent his country
Paul Kennedy
02-03-2003, 22:12
but felt his chances of recognition by the coach were....
phil b
02-03-2003, 22:28
hampered by his inability to get into the first team.
Paul Kennedy
02-03-2003, 22:33
what else could he do? a transfer seemed the only
phil b
02-03-2003, 22:44
solution. That's why he was meeting the agent
Paul Kennedy
02-03-2003, 22:48
but why had he insisted on a meeting at midnight?
phil b
03-03-2003, 22:44
The answer was obvious when he thought about it sensibly.
Paul Kennedy
03-03-2003, 23:27
he felt a pang of concience but decided to go
phil b
03-03-2003, 23:47
to the toilet anyway. He remembered the last time shamefully.
Paul Kennedy
04-03-2003, 23:37
that was the last time he listened to George Michael
phil b
05-03-2003, 19:42
He bitterly regretted the fact that his CD was broken.
Paul Kennedy
06-03-2003, 20:25
How he wished he hadn't scrapped his 8 track
phil b
06-03-2003, 21:22
cassette of Wham's Greatest Hits. But that was all in the past now.
Waldo
09-03-2003, 21:51
He now whistles to the tunes of Abba's greatest Hits
phil b
13-03-2003, 23:50
That night, only 'Waterloo' seemed at all appropriate.
Waldo
17-03-2003, 23:22
Or was it something to do with kissing the teacher?
phil b
19-03-2003, 20:44
Suddenly, his contact came round the corner whistling tunelessly.
Waldo
07-04-2003, 22:12
When he saw that his contact was George Michael...
phil b
07-04-2003, 23:06
Washington, the famous singing president. Immediately he asked for an autograph.



Cheers Waldo, it seems no-one else wants to play this game apart from us two. :(
paula_m
12-04-2003, 12:24
Little did he know he was signing an agreement for .....
phil b
12-04-2003, 13:40
.... having his chest shaved and legs waxed for a year.
paula_m
13-04-2003, 23:13
watched by the fans of Bury FC at the next game
phil b
14-04-2003, 22:13
When he realised the truth he became apoplectic with rage.
paula_m
18-04-2003, 01:09
he'd been trying to keep it a secret that he .....
Paul Kennedy
18-04-2003, 21:39
had not bought a season ticket yet
phil b
22-04-2003, 21:21
Then he realised that players don't need season tickets.
Paul Kennedy
22-04-2003, 22:33
it was at this point his head started to hurt
phil b
23-04-2003, 01:21
So he took Nothing because Nothing works faster than Anadin.
Paul Kennedy
25-04-2003, 17:22
And with that his head and mind started to clear
phil b
26-04-2003, 16:20
and began wondering why he was at a motorway service station.
paula_m
28-04-2003, 01:18
he decided that the best option was to sleep on
Paul Kennedy
28-04-2003, 23:21
Top of the RAC booth just in case the AA man.......
phil b
01-05-2003, 20:52
to whom he'd given the forged notes should return.
Paul Kennedy
01-05-2003, 22:00
then he would find out that he wasn't a very nice man
paula_m
03-05-2003, 12:10
as he took him down the wrong side of the ...
phil b
06-05-2003, 19:22
carriageway. Sadly he neither saw nor heard the articulated lorry
Paul Kennedy
06-05-2003, 21:35
as it hurtled towards him like a scene from Duel
phil b
06-05-2003, 21:43
Suddenly he woke in a cold sweat as the.....
paula_m
07-05-2003, 01:09
dog that was sitting behind started to lick the top
Paul Kennedy
07-05-2003, 17:26
of his newly waxed legs making them sting
paula_m
08-05-2003, 00:04
:overwhel: I can't answer that for laughing ......
phil b
09-05-2003, 21:38
Quickly, he kicked the dog away and ran for safety.
Paul Kennedy
10-05-2003, 16:51
only to remember, in the rush he had forgotten......
phil b
10-05-2003, 21:00
his trousers which he had removed and carefully folded ....
paula_m
19-05-2003, 08:56
he rushed back to get them, how could he explain...


(just in case anyone forgot about this game...)
Waldo
22-05-2003, 23:33
The RAC box had been taken away! He thought....
phil b
23-05-2003, 21:28
.. that he must have got the wrong car park, but...
Waldo
24-05-2003, 23:53
He must have gone on the wrong side, But no...
Paul Kennedy
27-05-2003, 23:21
he WAS in the right place because there was the dog.....
Waldo
27-05-2003, 23:37
His owner, the blind man, was in the central...
Paul Kennedy
28-05-2003, 23:15
reservation doing his best to put on the trousers...
paula_m
29-05-2003, 01:20
that he collected from the salon where he had
Paul Kennedy
29-05-2003, 23:34
Met the woman who had changed his.........
phil b
31-05-2003, 19:03
tattoo from Paul to Paula following his sex change.
Paul Kennedy
01-06-2003, 22:55
Just as he felt that things couldn't get .............
phil b
05-06-2003, 19:40
any more surreal, a donkey flew down from the roof.
Paul Kennedy
12-06-2003, 00:28
My name is Matt Le Tissier said the donkey.......



(I must point out that a Guernseyman is known as a donkey in these parts)
paula_m
12-06-2003, 02:11
(I'm not going to say why a man's called a donkey in these parts ) :shock:


I'm trying to find Emily last I heard she was acting ...
Paul Kennedy
12-06-2003, 20:31
the goat in a soap up north and I've come to......


It's nothing to do with that.. :oops: It's because once they make their mind up they won't shift.
paula_m
13-06-2003, 00:08
:lol: spoilsport


show her the script for a new part in Eastenders where ...
phil b
27-06-2003, 23:38
she can play with Arnold Layne on the dark side of the moon
paula_m
05-07-2003, 09:52
but the problem for wardrobe is Arnold Layne's a cross-dresser who .....
phil b
07-07-2003, 20:12
who won't wear anything that doesn't highlight his waxed legs.
paula_m
19-07-2003, 00:41
so they gave him a fishnet body stocking that ......
phil b
20-07-2003, 00:02
was open at the crotch (to make going to the loo easier).
paula_m
21-07-2003, 14:59
(just what sort of a book are we writing here? :oops: )
craig
21-07-2003, 17:27
ALERT! ALERT! ALERT!

This is the filth police. You're both under arrest for writing literature of an adult nature. Come quietly (no pun intended, of course... :wink: )
paula_m
22-07-2003, 00:01
Can you make sure my handcuffs are fur lined please :oops:
phil b
23-07-2003, 10:20
asked Paula as she was taken away with a grin.
paula_m
23-07-2003, 10:46
(that wasn't my quote, but what the hell...) :lol:


taking Arnold's hand as they were led into the ....
phil b
23-07-2003, 15:26
waiting police van, which surprisingly contained a kingsize bed
paula_m
26-07-2003, 00:59
the problem for Paula was did Arnold want her to .......
phil b
28-07-2003, 21:31
...take the lead or submit totally to his desires?
paula_m
29-07-2003, 08:15
but knowing that his desires were a little unusual she
phil b
29-07-2003, 14:30
decided to let him have his way with her.
paula_m
30-07-2003, 08:42
it was the strangest thing, she hadn't experienced many .....
phil b
30-07-2003, 11:39
other occasions where a radish played such an important role
paula_m
30-07-2003, 23:56
she couldn't get her breath when he asked her to put ......
phil b
03-08-2003, 22:40
on the tweety pie apron as she was giggling so much
Waldo
03-08-2003, 22:47
About appearing on Ready Steady Cook in it
paula_m
04-08-2003, 00:17
on the tweety pie apron as she was giggling so much :lol: :oops:


But only if he wore the one with the ....
phil b
05-08-2003, 09:50
bra and knickers design. Strangely, Arnold declined this idea
Waldo
05-08-2003, 23:27
Since he favoured the more picturesque type of...
paula_m
06-08-2003, 00:14
King Kong, the thought of the hairy chest did ....
phil b
06-08-2003, 15:59
nothing to stiffen his sinews but it made Paula sigh dreamily
paula_m
07-08-2003, 01:18
but the cost of all that wax she would need .....
phil b
07-08-2003, 09:23
meant she contented herself with stroking her fingers through it all
Waldo
07-08-2003, 20:49
But wasn't it meant for someone elses body?





Methinks I am in trouble

:shock:
phil b
07-08-2003, 22:28
thought Paula dreamily as she ran her fingers through Arnold's.....