The Story of a Pie

In the refreshment stall at the Cemmy End
Stood a pie - everyone's friend
Ignored by thousands for various reasons
It stood on its shelf for fifteen seasons

People passing spent a moment greeting it
For it was made in the days when a pie had meat in it
The days when the ground had noise and bustle
And 9,000 people followed Dave Russell

It stood on it's shelf - right at the back
Watching managers get the sack
It saw the end of Bobby Stokoe
And the beginning of maxpax cocoa

The crust went hard, the gravy congealed
The dust gave it a protective shield
And although it was covered with unknown germs
With the players it was on speaking terms

Billy Allen dry-cleaned and pressed it
And the Rector came and blessed it
But nobody seems to want to try
To sink their teeth into the pie

The years passed by and though thought of highly
The pie got a kick from Hughen Riley
It lay there in its battered status
Hole in its side showing all its taters

Esteemed by all the Football Leaguers
The club had it valued by Arthur Negus
Who fixed its value at eighteen pence
Just two pee less than Derek Spence

Then came the day of our pie's fame
It happened in the Brighton game
When the Sussex side didn't hammer us
And the pie was a star in front of the cameras

Tony Book, with great panache
Awarded the pie 'man of the match'
Based on the guidelines he'd worked along
He said the pie had done nothing wrong

The pie was now in great demand
Duncan Fosters offered fifty grand
Gerald Sinstadt the public was sick of
So the pie went down to introduce 'Kick Off'

It hosted the show without any fear
And soon became TV Star of the Year
But after climbing so very high
It decided to go back to being a pie

It left a land of milk and honey
A shop in the precinct put up the money
And after joining those famous names
Now sits on a shelf - with the players - at Hames!